Mistakes
by FantasticallyFanatical
Summary: Set in 1x13. "I command myself not be be pregnant." Looks as if no-one's listening to your command words, B. Un-beta'd so mitakes are mine - apologies for any.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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Blair didn't even wait to read the instructions. The box was ripped haphazardly in half as Blair shut herself in the bathroom. She waited, in anticipation, for the result. But it was not the one she wanted to see.

Overwhelmed, Blair gripped tightly onto the sink for stability as a strong wave of light-headedness caused her a slight loss of balance. This was not happening to her. Blair, for one, wouldn't allow it. Regaining her balance, Blair made for her bedroom, promptly stripping to her underwear from the waist up. Stroking a hand across the front of her stomach, Blair experienced a tsunami of feelings, once again resulting in a loss of balance. Stumbling to her bed, Blair sat down and felt the tears sting at her eyes, forcing her lids to open and spill their contents. Placing her hand on the small curvature of her stomach, Blair underwent a persuasive urge to relapse into her previous condition, very much against her better judgement.

Returning to the bathroom, she knelt above the toilet but something, or rather someone, stopped her from going any further. Blair herself forced her actions to cease. It wasn't just about her anymore - the test had made sure of that. Blair had always been aware of the dangers her bulimia could have upon herself, but to inflict them on something as innocent as an unborn child was something Blair would not condone.

Wiping her tear stained face, Blair walked back to her room, slipping into her night clothes and climbing into bed, regardless of the time. She played around with her phone for a while, needing to talk to someone, but not knowing who to call. Serena was her first option, but after judging Serena so harshly for her promiscuous actions, Blair was less than willing to receive the same treatment back. Next was Nate, but that would mean Blair having to explain to Nate about Chuck and the consequences that would ensue were unthinkable. Left was Chuck himself, and although Blair could think of no reasons why not to call him, she couldn't fathom many reasons why to call the womaniser either.

So Blair chose to bear her burden alone. For the time being anyway. Placing her eye mask delicately over her eyes, Blair drifted into a tortured sleep, hands instinctively resting upon her stomach. It was only when she awoke in a deep sweat that she realised this was too big a burden to bear single-handedly and retrieved her phone from her bedside table.

**Are you awake? -B x**

Blair sent it to both Serena and Chuck, informing herself that whoever replied first would be the one she told. With a sudden realisation that actually Chuck might reply first, Blair mentally noted not to play by her own rules again, without necessary exceptions being in place first. Praying that Serena would answer, Blair's stomach knotted when her phone vibrated beside her. Daring to look who the reply came from, Blair's stomach knotted even tighter.

**I am now, no thanks to you.  
What is it now Waldorf?  
- C**

Blair had no idea what to reply, but reply she would have to - Blair wasn't one to break the rules, particularly not her own. She could lie, say it was to the wrong number but Chuck would suss her out, Blair was certain. Alternatively, she could still lie, and explain it was a momentary lapse of judgement in which she wanted someone to talk to and he was the best out of the worst. Or, Blair decided, she could tell him the truth. That she was pregnant. Most possibly with his child.

She contemplated how she was going to tell him. 'I have a problem' seemed unfair on the child who, to be fair, was most likely going to have a problematic life if it's life were to be even a fraction alike to it's parents' ones, but Blair felt that was not valid enough an excuse to dub her baby as a problem. 'We need to talk' sounded too formal and adult; the exact opposite of how Blair was feeling. As Blair continued to agonise over what to reply, it seemed Chuck had had enough waiting and wanted answers himself, so took it upon himself to figure what the hell was niggling Blair.

"You woke me up to ask me if I was awake. Well, now I'm awake and you're not talking. So either talk or refrain from waking me up unnecessarily in the future."

Blair's hand shook as she held the phone to her ear, her face beaded with sweat and her ear burning all the more as she pressed the phone close to her ear.

"C-Chuck?" Blair's stomach lurched, wishing this was a dream, that Chuck wasn't on the end of the line. That everything was a dream and she'd wake up being 16 again, before that fateful night in Chuck's limousine. If she had never allowed herself to be intoxicated by Chuck Bass, she wouldn't have gone back to him, time and time again, but more importantly wouldn't be in this baby-shaped mess. But how was she meant to tell that to Chuck?

Whilst Blair agonised, Chuck was sitting on his bed, back propped against the bed head, carefully combing his hair for something to do. He was anticipating sending a touch of his infamous sarcasm Blair's way, but something in her voice made him stop.

"Blair, what's wrong?" Blair noted the concern in Chuck's voice, even over the crackling phone line. They may have the most expensive phones available, but New York was still New York. The silent tears fell hard and fast from Blair's eyes as she struggled to conceal a sniff.

"It's nothing. Sorry I disturbed you." The lies flowed so easily. This would be easy, Blair told herself.

"It doesn't sound like nothing." Chuck stopped combing his hair and had walked over the window, almost in a vain attempt to be closer to Blair.

"I'm fine." Blair smiled, for no-one's benefit but her own. It wasn't as if Chuck could see her fake smiles and lying eyes anyway.

"Blair, this is me." Chuck's art of persuasion stopped short of getting women into bed and his ability to get people to confess relied slightly to heavy on the influence of alcohol. Instead, he offered all that he could to Blair - himself.

"I know." Blair whispered, tears slowing but leaving her face taught and in discomfort.

"Blair, what is going on? Do you want me to come over?" The alarm in Chuck's voice was becoming more and more apparent. Sure, he'd tortured Blair these last few weeks but no matter the reason he gave, it was the only way Chuck knew of how to keep Blair an intrinsic part of his life. He knew it was bordering on pathetic but it worked. When Blair didn't answer, Chuck decided for her. "I'm coming over."

"No!" Blair protested, but no one heard. Chuck had already ended the call and was, Blair suspected, already on his way over. Thankful that her mother was away for the night, Blair figured Chuck would somehow let himself in. Saying that, she wasn't fully prepared for Chuck's arrival into her room. He looked flustered, she looked tear-stained and although every part at her screamed not to do so, she walked over to Chuck and broke down in his arms.

For Chuck, it felt foreign to hold a girl so intimately without the end result of bedding them, but hold Blair he did, his hands squeezing her body close to his as if he were afraid to let her go. Looking around her room for reasons of Blair's distress, the last thing Chuck Bass expected to see in Blair Waldorf's bathroom was the very thing that caught his eye.

She sobbed on his shirt, willing herself to let go, not wanting to be viewed on as weak and incapable but something kept her holding on. Chuck was shaking his head in disbelief. Blair Waldorf taking a pregnancy test was one of the only things Chuck could think of that would actually render him speechless.

"Chuck, I'm-" Blair began, with the intention of apologising for waking him at this ungodly hour but Chuck cut her up.

"I know." Chuck said bluntly, without adding the harsh exterior one might have presumed Chuck would have applied. Blair pulled away instantly, staring at Chuck with wide, bloodshot eyes. How could he know? And then it hit her. Casting a small glance sideways, Blair spotted the test and box strewn across her bathroom, prompting her heart to sink.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: WOW! Thanks so much for the reviews, alerts and favourites - it means ever such a lot! So yeah, thanks guys :) Right, this is un-beta'd as always so sorry for any Mistakes (see what i did there.. title linkage!) Not sure many people are going to like the chapter(s) that follow but for now, enjoy this :) x

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Blair's breathing quickened and she paced around her room, one hand on her hip and one against her forehead, muttering furiously under her breath. The tears had stopped but Blair's mind was going over time. She could tell him it was negative - buy herself more time to think things through.

"Stop!" Chuck suddenly cried out, making Blair visibly jump. The tears were back and biting harder than before, but Blair ordered them to disperse. Blair stopped pacing and stood motionless, letting the awkward silence smother them both.

"Sorry," Blair mumbled softly but Chuck held up his hand before she could continue. The silence was helping Chuck think, but for Blair the silence was torture. It meant she had to listen to her own thoughts, those she wanted to ignore. Needing to do something, Blair walked to the window and opened it, just slightly.

"What are you doing to do?" Chuck asked, after a while. Blair, engrossed in staring out the window, had forgotten Chuck was in her room.

"I don't know," Blair answered honestly, wringing her fingers agitatedly. Chuck marched over to her and placed his larger hands over hers. Blair gazed up at Chuck with wide, naïve eyes, but Chuck's eyes were closed.

"We should go to the doctor," Chuck decided, opening his eyes causing Blair to look away quickly. "Check everything's alright." Blair could feel Chuck's eyes drop to her stomach, but his hands still engulfed hers making Blair reluctant to pull away.

"In the morning?" Blair asked hopefully. She needed to compose herself first. Chuck agreed, but stayed stationary, still attached to Blair's hand. "Do you want.. Can you stay? Just until morning?"

Blair decided not to ask Chuck what he wanted; the rejection would have been more hurtful had he said no.

"If that's what you want," Chuck replied, scratching his head awkwardly. Blair almost laughed. Chuck suddenly looked.. Blair didn't want to call him cute because that just wasn't Chuck. She decided he looked loveable and lost and that she would be the one to find and love him. "Where should I..?"

"Take my bed," Blair nodded, letting a watery laugh escape as Chuck's eyes widened in shock. "What? I trust you."

"I wouldn't," Chuck laughed, almost nervously. Blair smiled simply, understanding for the first time just what an affect she had upon Chuck. But she didn't want to feel like she was taming the untameable, because then Chuck wouldn't be Chuck. And Blair wanted Chuck.

Blair lay on her bed and waited for Chuck to join her. Both lay above the duvet, flat on their backs, eyes closed. By the time morning came, Chuck's fingers were intertwined with Blair's and Blair couldn't help but smile.

"Miss Blair! Your mother wants to-" Dorota stopped short upon seeing Chuck lying beside Blair. "Miss Blair, why Mr Chuck in your bed? Your mother not be pleased."

"We fell asleep talking," Blair replied quickly, praying Dorota wouldn't enter the bathroom and discover Chuck's real reasoning for staying the night.

"Miss Blair, it time for breakfast. Mr Chuck? Mr Chuck! Time you go home." Chuck groaned something indistinctive and sat up, eyes squinting. Dorota exhaled sharply and left Blair and Chuck to it.

"Morning," Blair smiled awkwardly, as Chuck accustomed to the brightness. Chuck first of all couldn't figure out why he was on Blair's bed. If Nate found out.. Chuck wiped Nate from his brain and concentrated on discover the fact why he was lying beside Blair, fully clothed. He clearly wasn't there by choice, otherwise he and Blair would not have been wearing clothes.

"Am I dreaming?" Chuck asked groggily and Blair almost laughed until reality hit her.

"I wish," Blair said softly. Blair's voice awoke Chuck's mind and last night's conversations came flooding back. He fell silent and shut his eyes again. Blair slipped off the bed and lifted a dress off the side to get changed into. "I don't really have any clothes for you.." Blair trailed off. Chuck nodded, eyes still closed and waited until Blair had left her room to climb off of her bed. When Blair returned, dressed ready to leave, Chuck looked as pristine as ever. Chuck watched as Blair eyed him warily, but asked him no questions.

"Do we need an appointment?" Blair asked slowly, suddenly not wanting to leave her room. Chuck hesitated, before slipping his hand into Blair's, purposefully avoiding her face. Blair's breath hitched upon his contact, but eventually her fingers curled around his, as if it were the most natural thing to do. Walking out, Chuck didn't answer. If he were being honest, he didn't know himself.

"What if someone sees us?!" Blair suddenly squealed as the cold air hit their face

"I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you, Waldorf," Chuck said bitterly, quickly digressing into an, "Ouch! God Blair, that _hurt_." Blair had stood on his foot. Hard.

"You really do think the entire universe converges around you, don't you Bass. But that's besides the point. If some one sees us going to the doctors, they're going to suspect."

"Well then we won't let them see. Happy?" Chuck replied, guiding Blair to his nearby limo. Blair was shocked it had stayed there overnight.

"Yes Chuck, I'm ecstatic. Can't you tell?" Blair's sarcasm made Chuck smirk for reasons he couldn't explain. Blair's anxiety increased but Chuck placed a warm, steady hand on the side of her back and gently pushed her into the limo.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you all so much for your reviews! They are so encouraging and I just want to say a particular thank you to BimboBoop because your review was just lovely and actually made my day! But that's not to say the other reviews didn't! I love them all and am so grateful for them all! Right, on a separate note, this is possibly going to the last chapter because I don't really know where else to go with this at the moment. But hopefully, if I can't think of anymore for this, then a new story will be on its way soon :) Lastly, un-beta'd so probably a gigantic amount of errors in this so deep apologies on my behalf. But most importantly, thank you and enjoy :)

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Throughout the journey, Chuck watched as Blair sat, unnaturally quiet, wringing her fingers. He wanted to ease her worries, but was at a loss of what to say. This was too far out of his comfort zone, but for Blair, he'd go even further. Blair's phone going off disturbed his thoughts, and Blair's too it appeared.

"It's Serena." Blair explained, replying to Serena and telling her where they were going. She didn't tell her why. She decided she would, once she'd got her head around it herself. There was too much at risk to send the news via text message, so Blair refrained from saying much, just that her and Chuck wouldn't be at school today, claming he was escorting her to the doctors as a review of her bulimia on Eleanor's orders. At times like these, Blair was oddly thankful for her disorder.

"Blair?" Chuck's voice woke a troubled Blair several minutes later. "We're here."

Walking into the doctor's at as face a pace as they could manage, so as not to be spotted, Blair waited as Chuck did all the talking. Being around ill people had never been a pleasant experience for Blair, but coupled with the nerves she was experiencing, all became too much and Blair promptly fainted, only to awake several minutes later with both Chuck, the doctor and many other professionals crowding around her bed.

After giving Blair some well needed air, the doctor - named Dr Thomas - took Blair off alone for her appointment. Chuck waited awkwardly outside.

"So Miss Waldorf, what seems to be the problem?" Dr Thomas began, sitting back and waiting for Blair to talk.

"Well, I took a pregnancy test this morning and it came out positive and I didn't know what to do, and Chuck - he's the one outside - suggested we came to the doctors, just to check everything's alright." Blair blurted out breathlessly. Dr Thomas chuckled slightly but stopped abruptly as Blair began to stare.

"Right," Dr Thomas began, smiling at Blair who didn't return his optimistic view. "I take this wasn't a planned pregnancy?"

"No," Blair admitted, "I'm barely 17 and my mother will _kill _me when she finds out. Not to mention everyone at school.. And at Yale! Oh and-"

"Yes, well," Dr Thomas began, cutting Blair up before she wore herself out again. "We'll run a few tests and get back to you in a minute. Shall I get.."

"Chuck," Blair supplied

"Chuck in?"

"No, I'd rather wait alone," Blair decided. Chuck would only complicate things further. Dr Thomas left Blair to sit alone with her thoughts, returning twenty minutes later.

"Well, there's some good news Blair. How many tests did you take this morning?"

"Just the one," Blair explained. "I think one confirmation is more than enough. Why?"

"Because it appears that you're gave you incorrect information. You're not pregnant, so at least you'll be able to live now!" Dr Thomas soon realised his sense of humour did not bide well with Blair, who sat silent and motionless. "I'll go and get, err, Chuck."

Dr Thomas quickly exited to find Chuck, leaving Blair alone. As her hands dropped to her stomach, Blair felt tears surge behind her eyes and before she could have her say, they began to cascade silently down her face. When Chuck walked in, he was shocked to see Blair looking so young and vulnerable. So unlike Blair Waldorf.

"Blair, what's wrong?" Chuck said, somewhat alarmed. Clearing his throat and lowering it an octave, back to his usual tone, Chuck took a seat beside Blair. She turned her head away and frantically tried to dispose of her tears.

"Nothing," Blair attempted to smile, "There's nothing wrong. Everything's perfect."

"But-"

"There's no baby, Chuck! The test was wrong, okay? So you can leave now, you're not needed anymore."

Instead of leaving as Blair lied that she wanted, Chuck pulled Blair up to her feet and embraced her tight. Blair, somewhat surprised by the movement, tensed initially before relaxing into the hug.

"How can I be upset over losing something I n-never had to start with?" Blair spoke more to herself than to Chuck, but Chuck knew exactly what she was feeling. Her loss was his loss, this time more than ever. Chuck knew there was every possibility that the baby could have been his, had it really been there and for once, Chuck wanted to prove to everyone that he was worth something. That he, Chuck Bass, was capable of things even his father couldn't do - bring up a child who would feel loved and cherished until they died. Pulling Blair closer, he felt her tears soak through to his skin, but he didn't care. He figured the sooner she felt better, the sooner he would too, because the pain he was experiencing was unbearable.

"Blair," Chuck whispered pointlessly, but it seemed to soothe her slightly, as her sobs subsided and the tears lessened in speed and quantity.

"It's for the best," Blair decided, but Chuck could see she didn't wholly mean it. She, like him, had had a slight taste of parenthood, if only for a day and both were reluctant to give it up, despite the complications that would have arose. Chuck couldn't lie and agree with Blair so stayed silent, gripping onto her far too tightly but Blair didn't mind. She felt safe and wanted.

"We should get out of here," Chuck stated, his voice hoarse. Blair nodded and allowed Chuck to guide her out the doctors. Out on the street, it was as if the world was out to tease and torture them both. In every direction came a toddler, a baby, a woman heavily expecting - millions of images of everything Chuck and Blair didn't want to see.

"Why can't I do anything right, Chuck?" Blair struggled to swallow a sob, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. Chuck looked at her and for a moment, they weren't Chuck and Blair; they were a boy and girl, hurt and damaged but more of all, they were in love. They just wouldn't accept it, not yet.

"Blair-"

"Chuck, don't _lie _to me by telling me it's not true. You can't deny it! Come on, try! _What _have I ever done right?! I can't even do the most natural thing right-"

"Blair." Chuck was more forceful this time but it still didn't cease Blair's words. "Blair! I don't care."

"W-what?" Blair asked, still teary and in far too an emotional state to take in anything Chuck was saying.

"I don't care." He repeated, as if it was the clearest thing on earth. "You're you," Chuck continued, agitated Blair didn't understand. This was his show of feelings for her, his declaration of, well, love. Why couldn't she see it? "Don't change." Chuck finished feebly but Blair's tears stopped completely at hearing Chuck speak.

Pulling out of his embrace, Blair stared up at Chuck, placing a soft hand either side of his face to refrain him from looking away, avoiding her eyes. She mouthed a thank you and as he bowed his head, placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

*

They left the surgery several minutes later and decided to take the rest of the day off. Blair returned home and sat atop her bed, quiet and thinking, when her phone vibrated.

**Hope you're OK.  
****Don't worry about it.  
****Your time will come.  
****But if you're desperate..  
****Come find me ;)  
****- Chuck x**

Blair smiled and rolled her eyes, not giving Chuck the satisfaction by replying. But, if nothing else, Blair took it as a sign that Chuck would be there for her, whatever her need. But the current needs that Chuck wanted to satisfy, Blair certainly wasn't about to take him up on. No, she really wasn't about to take him up on them..


End file.
